


I wish I had your forgiveness.

by orphan_account



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dominic "Bandit" Brunsmeier Needs a Hug, Game: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dominic and Marius argue often, but Dominic didn't expect it to turn out like this. It was too early. He could never have his forgiveness.
Relationships: Dominic "Bandit" Brunsmeier/Marius "Jäger" Streicher
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	I wish I had your forgiveness.

It had been some time now since they had decided that their friendship had morphed into something more. Oh, Dominic remembered very well the moment he first asked Marius for a date, or when they gave each other their first kiss, their first "I love you" and all their experiences together. Too bad it hasn't been like this for some time. They didn't talk so much to each other now and the rare times they tried to strike up a conversation they ended up yelling at each other. The problem was that they were too different, they couldn't do two days without a fight, even for the most useless things, like unwashed dishes, dirty clothes left on the chair and all stupid things. Dominic couldn't take it anymore, he wasn't used to all this and just wanted it to end.

"Why are you acting like an asshole? What have I done to you? I just want to fix things ..." Marius told him one evening with his voice cracking.

"Why am I acting like this? Any excuse is good for yelling at me! You've become really unbearable!" Marius's face twitched at those words. He didn't deserve them and Dominic knew it. But he was too self-centered to go back on his words.

"I wouldn't do that if you just talked to me. Everything I do for you is wrong. I don't understand you, please talk to me..." He said looking at the floor with tears in his eyes

"No. I have to go out with some friends tonight. I don't want to ruin my evening by hearing screams again."

"W-with some friends? I thought we could be together tonight, we haven't done it in a long time..." Dominic didn't listen to him, took his leather jacket and left the house. His friends were at the bar, as always, he should have been happy, having fun, instead he felt ... empty. As if something was missing. Deep down, deep in his heart, he knew what he was missing, but he was too proud to admit it. 

When he got home it was the middle of the night, he went to his room, where he found Marius sound asleep next to his pillow. Dominic sighed, he loved seeing Marius so calm, peaceful. He undressed and got under the covers. The desire to hug his lover was big. But he didn't. He never would.

___________________________________

Some time passed but nothing changed. They weren't talking yet, Marius was trying, he really didn't want to lose Dominic, but it was harder than he thought.

"Dom? Can I talk to you?" Dominic was sitting on the sofa, watching the TV and didn't even think about watching Marius.

"I ... I've been assigned to a mission. 

"Mh, okay." Dominic simply replied.

"Only this? I thought that ... you would care about this."

"Is this your first time on a mission? No. So there's no need to make a fuss." Marius sighed, tears started to fill his eyes. He'd never cried in front of Dominic. He wanted to look strong, but sometimes it was hard.

"I'll leave tomorrow morning, maybe we could spend some time together tonight." He said hopefully.

"No. I have to go out to the bar with the boys tonight." Marius took a whipped breath.

"Sure, go and have a drink with your friends! After all, I'm only leaving tomorrow on a mission that I might not return to! What do you want it to be!" He wiped a tear that was running down his cheek.

"Would I rather be with my friends than hearing you scream? Yeah! So stop being a baby!"

"And you stop being an asshole! Sometimes I wonder if you care about me!" Now more tears were streaming from his eyes and slowly sliding down his cheeks.

"Oh sure, go ahead and be the victim! You're the good one and I'm the bad guy of the situation!"

"Enough! Go away with your friends if I bother you so much!" Dominic was seething with anger. He should have been able to control himself, but he couldn't.

"You know what?! You're right! I don't care about you! I have no idea how I fell in love with someone like you! I hate you!" He didn't mean even one of those words. But he was not one to take his word back. Marius was petrified. Looking at him with his beautiful green eyes now full of tears. Words stuck in his throat.

"Do you really think so? Do you hate me?" He didn't answer, just looked at him. Marius was waiting for an answer that did not come. He nodded softly and left Dominic there in the middle of the room, alone.  
__________________________________

Marius had been on his mission for a week now. Dominic would never admit it, but he missed him. When he returned, he would tell him that he didn't really mean those words, that he loved him with all his heart, and that he would never leave him. He headed for the cafeteria to get something to eat. He saw that as he walked many stared at him with pitying looks and he could not understand why. Suddenly Monika ran to meet him crying desperately and hugging him tightly.

"Mon ... hey Mon what's up?"

"Oh Dominic, I'm so sorry." She said between sobs.

"Marius ... he was flying when his helicopter's engines failed and he crashed ... he's ..." She sobbed more and clung to Dominic. No. It couldn't be. His Marius could not have died. One day he would come back from that mission and he would tell him that he loved him and would never say things like that again. But it would never happen. He could never have his forgiveness. Marius was gone. Forever.

_________________________________

Everyone was at Marius's funeral. His colleagues, his friends and even his uncle and his cousins. Dominic didn't speak to anyone, everyone offered him condolences. In the end, only he was left there. In front of the grave of his beloved. He knelt and ran his thumb over the photo of him smiling. That smile he could never see again. Gone forever.

"I'm so sorry my love, I should have said it sooner. I can't live without you. I miss you." He wept softly. But no one would have consoled him. No one would try to fix things. Now he was really alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for killing my little Marius. But someone had to do it.


End file.
